I graduated high school with a 4.0 and earned a B.S degree engineering at a Big Ten school.  I am not into drugs and only drink socially.  I have held a stable job at a growing company for over 3 years.  I make responsible decisions everyday and I have a very strong math/probability background. 

 

I started playing cards for fun only a couple years ago and fun turned into small local tournaments for cash.  Then I sat at casino poker tables. Then I tried online poker for small buy-ins.  With a good understanding of the odds, I was able to do very well consistently. 

 

The problem is that I became desensitized to the rush of the game and I needed higher stakes to enjoy my time.  In playing for higher stakes, taking a tough loss put me on tilt.  In other words, I was unable to make rational decisions, and I would throw money away when the odds were pointing the opposite direction. 

 

I now have over $25,000 is credit card debt. 

 

I will not be able to make payments on my house soon and I will likely lose my car and possibly my job.  I never thought this could happen to me. 

 

After attending GA (Gamblers Anonymous) meetings to deal with my addiction, I learned that there are many others in similar situations.  Although poker can be fun and competitive and intellectually stimulating, it can get the best of you and I have never in my life let something get out of control like this, it is not my personality.

 

Besides the money that was lost, I feel that I let a large part of my life slip away from underneath me (that I may never get back).  My friends, family, and co-workers got less and less of my time as I dedicated more and more to the game.  If I do find some miracle to recover financially, I still have damaged relationships that may not be repairable.

 

My new goal (besides survival) is finding ways to share my story with others that haven't made the big mistakes that I've made yet.  Although poker is very attractive and entertaining pastime, it can become an ugly force that can ruin lives.  And the scary part is that I couldn't pinpoint when the transition happened.  That is to say, I could not tell you the day that I transitioned from being a responsible player to being an addictive destructive gambler.